November 21, 2012

• “Happy Thank You Day!”

  The three year old is positive that tomorrow is the day we tell people thank you and I’m not about to enlighten her or change her wording. She also thinks we eat corn dogs and pie (one of which is on the menu).

  There’s so much to be thankful for and it nearly feels ungracious to list them all when so many people are hurting. This has been the year that I’ve put my writing in second place as my time with child went from one day a week to three. Writing during nap time is a skill I’m beginning to learn (just as she’s outgrowing). My dad asked recently if it was a sacrifice having her here so much, but it doesn’t feel like a sacrifice. From the beginning, I assumed it was temporary and looked for ways to enjoy every single moment with her. The time will come when she’s not such a part of my weekly life and my writing schedule will be my own again, but I think I’ll grieve the passage of this special experience.

  I didn’t grow up with a gentle childhood and neither did my son (since we were too young, too overworked, too stressed out, too poor, too everything…), but his child is used to a gentle world with talking instead of yelling and very few stern words. She’s rarely needed time-outs and puts herself in one when she realizes she needs it. She has choices, her opinion is respected and valued, and she is listened to. Some might say she’s spoiled, and maybe she is, but she is fun to spend time with. I am very grateful for this opportunity to help create a peaceful world for a special child.

  Her parents are amazing people who work long hours and yet try to put this one first. They love sharing her with us and I am intensely happy that we have a relationship built on mutual respect and love. Her mom knows she can tell me her preference about something and that I’ll do it that way, but she trusts me enough that it is rarely needed. What a gift that is!

  We are surrounded by people who love the little girl who entered the world barely three years ago. Friends who treat her like she is family, laugh at her silliness, and who participate in her learning. Yesterday a friend came for a couple of hours in the morning to play with the child and to reinforce her Chinese tones. She read a book in Chinese and English, had a tea party with her, and taught her a new number (6) while reinforcing numbers 1 – 5 in Chinese. And our friend is busy (graduating from grad school, finishing up her final papers, planning a December wedding) and yet it was important to her to spend time with our granddaughter.  Other friends drove their three little ones over an hour so they could participate in the newly three year old’s birthday party. Do they know how important that was? I think not- they just did it! How do you say thank you for that kind of giving? Simple words isn’t enough.

  We sold the ABQ house this summer after the fire repairs were complete (after nearly four years of paying two mortgages). The men that did the restoration treated our home as if it was their own since we weren’t close enough to supervise the work. They made sure everything we talked about was done correctly or re-done. This was more than simple pride in a job well-done. This was above and beyond. The house was beautiful (the nicest home we’ve ever owned – and didn’t live in) when they finished. My gratitude overflowed.

  A woman in my writer’s group got a contract for her book this summer and pushed me to contact her publisher month after month. She didn’t have to do that. She could have said, “Be a snob,” and not brought up the topic again, but she didn’t. Every time we met, she told me how wonderful her publisher was, how her publisher was LOOKING for new writers, and did I have still have the card? Here, take another one! Because of that, my first novel will be out before Christmas. Her generousness enabled me to have a dream come true. I bought her a nice bottle of wine, but she deserved a vineyard.

  So…. Happy Thank You Day Tomorrow. May there be people in your life who deserve more than a few words, but who will smile when you tell them “Thank You!”.

   

   

   

  • 2:54 pm
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